I still do

I still remember when I loved you...
     and when you still loved me

I still remember when I loved you
   and I referred to us as "we"

I still remember when I loved you...
   and life seemed too easy

I still remember when I loved you
    and we were too cute and too cheesy

I still remember when I loved you...
    and you still understood what that meant

I still remember when I loved you
    and I remember when that love was spent

I remember when I still loved you...
     when you believed in forever
     and believed it was us who'd be together

I remember when I still loved you
     when you fought so hard to get me
     just to let me go so you could be free

I remember when I still loved you...
     when I waited and waited too
     long for you to fool me, and made a fool of you

I remember when I still loved you
    when I gave you all my trust
    and woke up with my golden heart turned to rust

I still remember when I loved you...
    because even when I don't love you
    I actually still do....

Thoughts

your words
  my thoughts
no actions
  until there are

our hope
  monitored reactions
following our hearts
  but breaking others

My time
  your alibi
caught in words
  but nothing solid

Contained joy
  overeager desires
laughing smiles
  forcibly hidden fires

Memories
  catching flame
reminding of other days
  but not enough to stray

The Easily Opened Door

I lay waiting
  but you aren't restored;
I wait pacing,
  why did I forget not to open that door?

You say such sweet things
   but they don't last long;
And for a moment my heart sings
  but it was already an ended song.

So how did I fall for it?
  Miss Strong Girl became blind;
You made me think and wait and sit,
   Did I think you were no longer the kind?

I opened up,
  I knew I shouldn't,
But my heart waited as a ready cup,
  but again that's when you couldn't;

I'm not surprised
  but shaken,
How easily I accept lies
  going for a road I've already taken;

No more looking back
  Oh no, not for me...
I'm already packed
  and I'll throw away the key;

Because I'm worth so much more
   than a few sweet words,
        and an easily opened door.

Learning not to be Lost

     I've been wondering what to write about for the last few weeks, lost in thought, lost in what I have to do, forgetting the things I get to do. I get so lost in the craziness that I don't even realize I'm lost. Isn't it interesting how that is the real fact of it usually... how people become so forgone sometimes. The get so comfortable in the feeling of being lost, or being busy, that eventually they become content with those feelings, content living in the in-between... but that isn't living.

    How easy it is to get lost in translate, or lost in the stupid things, or the serious things, but why not open our eyes a little wider, and work a little harder to get out of the stuck moment. It might be the hardest thing you ever do, but getting unstuck will always be better in the end than staying put, letting mediocrity rule your life.

Do what's best for you and live life to the fullest! always...