New Challenge!

Ok, so when I was back in high school I took a Creative Writing class. And though I've always had a love of writing, that class is what freed up my imagination and fully explored my writing abilities. So how could one class do this? Well apart from an incredibly awesome teacher, he had us do something called free writing-- writing for 10 minutes straight without stopping for any reason... no thinking, no fixing, just writing.

Last year I wrote a 152 page book in two days, and it was fully because of a mix of inspiration and a freedom in my imagination and my ability. Now? I feel as though I can hardly write a page without having writers block. So I've decided that for the next month I will free write at least twice a week on here. People from my Facebook have already provided me with some prompts and I am eager to begin. So here it goes:

Mix and Matched Socks: laziness or creativity? 

I'm going to start a little easier today, so thank you Breanna Sibbet for giving me this idea.

When I get up in the morning, I have a routine--bathroom, sink, eyes, shower, socks. By the time I get to my socks, I'm more awake, yet I am still asked constantly, why aren't your socks matching? Did you just wake up? Did you get dressed in the dark?

Well I have a theory, my friends! There are three kinds of sock-wearing people: 1) matchers, 2) people who don't know where there other sock is and are desperate, or 3) creative people that want to explore and add color to their day! So I am number 3! I want to have fun with my socks. How unfair is it anyways that socks are always so plain usually and boring. I know sometimes I mix the crazy pairs with solid pairs, but that was just the mood I was in this morning, sue me. But I must not be the only one, because some stores now sell socks in mis-matched pairs! See? I'm not crazy, I'm just in an elite class of sock wearers. So please, just enjoy my creativeness instead of judging it.

I do understand that some people may be considered "lazy" who mismatch socks, and honestly, I know people like that, who grab any socks they can out of their sock drawer and if they don't match, they decide to live with the socks anyways instead of looking for the match. So why do we have to match? Can't I just enjoy the silliness, or the absurdity of my different colors and different symbols. Honestly, in my life I just don't always want to over think what my socks look like, because there is so many more interesting things in my day then what my socks look like. So yes, some days it is laziness, or maybe just a lack of caring, but when I look down and realize they don't match, sometimes I am embarrassed, and other times I am impressed by the combination. I have created a new form of art! Just as most artists are sometimes criticized for their ingenuity and odd choice of medium, my medium is just still being discovered by others! How incredible to know, I was one of the first. Oh yeah, take that!

Alrighty, so I still have two minutes, but I've already began to seriously wander when it comes to the socks thing... so what next? What next? Well, Colors. I just bought my daughter new shoes. They are crazy neon pink and green. Her dad just saw them today and made fun of me for getting them, but its just like the socks: it is an expression. Abby likes pink, SO I got her pink shoes : ) Later she can look at those shoes and go "Awesome! My shoes are neon pink!"

Ok there is my ten minutes!

My Daughter's Eyes

My Daughter's eyes

   sparkle with an inner light

   that nothing and no one can snuff out

My Daughter's smile

   laughs and dimples with joy

   that comes from my God who created her

My Daughter's laughter

  sings through my heart

  with a giggle of perfection

My Daughter's hands

  perfectly hold hand

  with a gentle touch of love

My Daughter's feet 

  walked swiftly into my heart

  and has forever touched my life

My Daughter's love 

   has left me captured

   and forever in love

     with a perfect angel from heaven

To my future husband (thanks Brett for this idea)

Alrighty, soo I don't mean to be a copier, but I recently read an amazing blog by this guy named Brett that wrote a letter to his future wife (http://brettshoemaker.me/2014/02/04/to-my-future-wife/). His letter touched my heart so much, and really encouraged me for the future, that I decided maybe I need to write a letter for my future husband. SO here it goes!

To my future love,

You and I have never met, yet somehow my heart knows you. I have felt as though you and I have already had long conversations over coffee, and we have already laughed together... yet here I am, sitting in my living room, staring out to the ocean just me and my daughter.  I wish you could be here with us, enjoying the silliness of life.

What should I say to you? What would I say if you were here right now?
       Where have you been? haha... Have you thought of me as much as I've thought of you? Am I what you expected? Am I more, am I less? Do you like walking on the beach? Do you like to travel? And the most important question for me... Do you love God?

It is so much more important to me that you have an actual relationship with Jesus, and love him, not just going to church or pretending to like God for my benefit. I love God, and he is number 1 in my life... I let him change from that place for my last husband, and I lost myself.... I want to be with someone that loves God first, not me. I will not be offended, in fact I think it is amazing!

I keep almost writing so many things, and that is why I think this will have to be sort of a series as I think of more things I pray for you, or remember I want you to know...

Something right off that I want you to know... you are helping me through this moment in my life where I am confused... I promise that things aren't always about me, and that right now it might not sound like it. You are helping me to hope for the prince charming I always deserved, because sweetie, I will always love you with all my heart and do anything and everything I can for you. That is just how I am.

I will always love you, but for now I offer a sturdy handshake over cyberspace to say "Hello"

~Always and Forever
  Mycheille

The Girl in the Burning Picture

I'm sure other people have notice this in their own lives, but I have started to see that when I look back through my past (recent or otherwise) and I started to notice how different I looked. I don't just mean age changes, by the way, but there was something different to my smile and to my eyes. To most people they would probably just attribute it to my weight gain, which they wouldn't be wrong... but there was also another major change: I was so lost, even though I thought I knew exactly where I was going. I see that girl in the pictures, now that I know what she is to expect in the near future, and I just think, "Didn't you see the signs? Didn't you see that you weren't being yourself? Why didn't you wake up sooner, sweetie?"

I feel so sorry for the girl in those pictures, because right now she thinks life is fine except for an occasional crying war when her husband stays at his family's house later on weekends, or stays later and later at work. I wonder when she finally got tired of telling herself that she was just overthinking... that bad things wouldn't happen to her and him.

People now, they tell me that girl was a fool to have trusted him, but she wasn't a fool... she was in love and believed in him. Looking back, I still don't regret believing in him, or even believing in that still-innocent-eyed girl. What I do regret now is sadly having my eyes pried open sooner than I was ready to see. Maybe that sounds silly, but being in the dark is sometimes so much nicer than having to look around and suddenly see that the world you created was made out of cardboard instead of wood... sand instead of stone. My sandcastle was crashed to the ground by one harsh wave... what a shame? I simply regret not seeing sooner that I should've built that world with stronger foundations.

But the girl in that picture has convinced herself that she is content with the half-life she is living. The life without God, except for a nightly routined prayer; the life without trust, though she reminded herself she trusted him... but he didn't trust her somehow. The girl in the picture was not a fool, but she did act foolish sometimes, because she kept her eyes closed so that picture didn't get burned. It didn't stop the picture from burning, nor stop her castle from collapsing.

Have you ever been the girl or the boy in the picture? I see you... I know your pain. But guess what? I also know what comes after that pain--beauty beyond belief. With eyes open, you now know what you want...  isn't that great? I get to go out into the world with clear vision as I look at those around me, finally seeing who is more likely to hurt me. This doesn't mean that we hide from all the scary things, it just means that now we are better equipped to handle it! How exciting!

Bring back my Harmony!

So those of you who have know me since college (Simpson) and before know that I have always had a passion for singing. Well in the last few years since leaving Simpson, I stopped singing as much and wasn't in church as much as I had once been either. Starting in January though I started going back to church and started singing a lot more... It's funny how much you realize is missing when you stop doing the things you love. I love God, and I've always loved being around other Christians who are enjoying God's presence together. And without singing besides the random phrase I sing to Abby every so often, I was missing something. I want to really start singing again because I love it. I used to wish my life was a musical in a sense because there are so many moments I feel like singing out my problems! So maybe it is time for me to really start letting who I am fully shine again. No time like now, right?  So if you see or hear a random person on the street singing, it may very well be me  haha

Heartbreak stinks but healing makes it a masterpiece

I'm going to rant a little I think...

So I strive constantly to be positive in every aspect of my life, and even in the moments I feel like I am being way too negative, I still have people telling me "Gosh, you are so positive!" I'm glad to be positive... glad to always be optimistic.... glad to be looking to the future even when my life seems to be falling apart right now. I know everyone feels like things are falling apart at some point in their life, but mine really was trying.

It's so funny, even as I'm writing this, trying to let out the frustrated emotions, I'm instantly fixing my thoughts on the positive that will surely come my way soon enough. My heart is so hopeful for the next step in my life, to move to the ocean and explore a new small town.

I'm not going to share specifics right now about what has been happening because I don't want anyone who knows us to stumble upon this and be surprised... but I have been hurt brutally, not physically (don't worry), but my pride, my heart, and my old ideals have been really hurt.The basic story... I lost a man I loved. And whether he sees this someday, well I hope he knows that though he hurt me, I will always love him.

That's the thing about love... someone can hurt you in the worst possible ways, even worse than I was hurt, but you still love them. Even years later, a little piece of your heart waits with them. Honestly, men and women know equally, that there are some people that deserve our hearts, some who don't, and some who wanted so desperately to deserve our hearts but realized it just wasn't right. Is it a shame? Absolutely... but it doesn't mean we are failures, it doesn't even necessarily mean that they are failures, it just means something was wrong. I really wish nothing had been wrong, that this could have lasted, but at the same time, it just means that something better is coming for both of us, and I can't really be too mad about that.

And to you, my former someone, though I am so mad at what you have done, I forgive you. I want you to know that I believe in the beauty inside your heart and soul, I just really hope you find yourself the way everyone who loves you has seen you. Cause that guy is pretty spectacular. And though you and I will never be together again unless God randomly sees fit to bring us back around when we both grow, I will always be a friend to you in the moments you feel like there are none.

Anyone who has been in love, whether it has been first love, puppy love, a crush, a bad relationship, or even a marriage that has lasted for decades, we all know there is a heartbreak. Sometimes heartbreak ends those relationships, sometimes it makes the couple stronger, and sometimes it allows us to grow as people to fix the mistakes we made before.

I can't wait to grow more from this and allow myself to fully heal. I am so thankful for all the support I have from friends and family, and the beauty that will come from this!

Sorry for all this personal ranting! I do hope somehow it helps someone out there going through something similar.

Be a Quilt

All you can do when life throws everything at you to tear you apart, is put a smile on, look at the good things, and move past the tear so that it can slowly be sewn back together. Because the harder you pull on a tiny tear, even when you think it will help later, is it rips more. So you may end up a little scarred later... it is a lot easier to fix a few small tears than massive rips.  choose what kind of life you want... a beautiful quilt, or a withered and worn flag... your choice